Woodlands Treatment Center

Fiscal Flight

 

We are awaiting the decisions of our legislators in respect to the country’s economy.  There is great angst and controversy surrounding the best strategy for solving the situation.  Each side has arguments with merit.  Our future and stability rely on putting aside partisan politics combined with a rolling up of our collective sleeves to quickly find short and long term answers to our crisis.

It is important to try not to get discouraged when we find ourselves facing such overwhelming obstacles. It can be easy to feel stuck.  Outside forces of life seem to be creating circumstances preventing us from solving our problems. It is easy to blame everyone and everything outside of ourselves.  The first course of action is to look inside. Personal responsibility for our own financial dilemma must be taken into consideration.  Choices that we have made as individuals can be corrected.  Choices that our nation has made can be corrected as well.  The second thing that we must do is to be decisive.  It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that we are doing so.  We cannot afford to STAY stuck.

We are a great people with a sound system of government.  It will not fail unless we lose confidence in our ability to persist and endure.  We have important things to do.  The biggest mistake we can make is to take no action.

Remembering September 11

This article about September 11, 2001 was written by Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the title 'C'ntarea Americii, (meaning: 'Ode To America') in the Romanian newspaper Evenimentulzilei (meaning: 'The Daily Event' or 'News of the Day').  As we remember this national tragedy let's remember the miracle of our Personal Freedom from addictions and our Collective Freedom that allows us to particpate in this great democracy!

 

~An Ode to America~

 

Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one another even if you painted them all one color!  They speak all the languages of the world and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations and religious beliefs.

 

Still, the American tragedy turned three hundred million people into a hand put on the heart.

 

Nobody rushed to accuse the White House, the Army, or the Secret Service that they are only a bunch of losers.

 

Nobody rushed to empty their bank accounts.Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to gape about.Instead the Americans volunteered to donate blood and to give a helping hand.

 

After the first moments of panic, they raised their flag over the smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties in the colors of the national flag.They placed flags on buildings and cars as if in every place and on every car a government official or the president was passing. On every occasion, they started singing: 'God Bless America!'

 

I watched the live broadcast and rerun after rerun for hours listening to the story of the guy who went down one hundred floors with a woman in a wheelchair without knowing who she was, or of the Californian hockey player, who gave his life fighting with the terrorists and prevented the plane from hitting a target that could have killed other hundreds or thousands of people.

 

How on earth were they able to respond united as one human being? Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note, the memory of some turned into a modern myth of tragic heroes.And with every phone call, millions and millions of dollars were put into a collection aimed at rewarding not a man or a family, but a spirit, which no money can buy.

 

What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way?   Their land?  Their history?  Their economic power?  Money?

 

I tried for hours to find an answer, humming songs and murmuring phrases with the risk of sounding commonplace, I thought things over, I reached but only one conclusion...

 

Only freedom can work such miracles.

 

Cornel Nistorescu

Finding Delight

I was having an especially difficult time adjusting to my life as a divorced man in early recovery many years ago.  My mind was racing, my new job was confusing and I was filled with regret and doubt.  It was a beautiful mid spring day in Champaign, Illinois and I decided to get out of the office and take a walk on the downtown mall.  Just as I rounded the corner a voice greeted me with a cheerful "How-do" (An old Midwestern hello).  I looked up to see a weathered homeless man sitting on a bench in the middle of what used to be the main street.  "Hello", I said.  He went on..."You know, I used to sit here when this was a street and I would watch the cars go up one side of the road and back down the other.  Now I get to sit here and watch the people just walk and talk and walk up one side of this mall and down the other side."  I looked at him blankly and said "Oh?".  He grinned toothlessly with warm understanding eyes and said words that I have never forgotten.  "I delight in it...I delight in it".  My spirits lifted. I noticed that the air was cleaned with a morning shower and the bright prairie sun glistened.  He grasped what I had failed to grasp.  He understood how simply delightful even the most simple things can be...and are.

Meister Eckhart, the thirteenth century Dominican mystic theologian said "wisdom consists in doing the next thing that you have to do, doing it with your whole heart, and finding delight in doing it".  Such wisdom escapes us in our daily journey all too often.  The picture that I attached to the blog is one that I took on a recent trip to Maui.  It is on a road that leads to a delightful part of the island that is less visited than the other parts.  Well worth the slow and winding trip with multiple stops and pullovers.  No hurry, no worries...just hang loose.  Delight in it today. 

Expectations & Shakeups

Probably the most amazing thing about Easter and about Recovery is the reversal of expectations.  The situation on Good Friday and Holy Saturday is stark and raw.  Nothing is going to change this reality.  People and their families who are in the whirlwind of addiction can imagine no end to the downward spiral that is smashing and destroying everything in its path.  You wake up in the morning with expectations that everything is going to be the same and the most amazing thing has happened.  There is an empty tomb.  The one who was dead is alive.  And even better than that...everything is going to be okay.  Better than okay!

Who'd 'a thunk it?  Who would believe it?  In one brush stroke the world view changes from black and white to color.  It is like the scene from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz when the film changes form Kansas to Munchkinland.  Color everywhere.  The storm is over.  The witch is dead.  How did it all happen?  The truth is that things had been set in motion for some time but we were unaware.  Thw miracle was waiting for today.  The miracle is today!

We respond to this shakeup with awe.  The new world at our feet is boundless.  The promises are fulfilled in each step forward.  Recovery from addiction and salvation from bondage are vitually one in the same.  Senator Barack Obama talks about the Audacity of Hope.  There is also an Audacity of Easter and an Audacity of Recovery.  Life is new and we have the power of change in every step that we take.

Developing An Ability To Grieve

I wrote last year about the darkness of pathless places. Holy Saturday brings us here, as it always does, to look into the depth of emptiness. Why? Most of the contemporary Christian churches diminish or just ignore this day. We crowd it in to a passion play and move quickly to the happy ending. It is hard enough to deal with the tragedy of death and horror of the ordeal of Jesus’ path. It makes it even worse to have to sit and wait, in the unrelenting darkness of grief that comes with Holy Saturday. We just can’t seem to come to terms with it.

Our culture cannot tolerate or honor sustained grief. We demand that the business of it move along and get done. Our patience with those who suffer wears thin and we want them to “get over it”. This inability to allow grief to process is powerful force that plays a major role in much of the depression and chemical dependence that I treat every day in our outpatient clinic. It lies at the bottom of unresolved emotions and unfulfilled actions that have been repressed in a desire to make people believe that “everything is okay”.

We do not always have to be left with comforting words. Sometimes we have to be joined in silence and allowed to wail. There comes a time when the harsh reality of pain, loss and suffering must be experienced. Lincoln understood this as he gave his address at Gettysburg. Whitman grasped it as he wrote “O Captain! My Captain!” A writer named Adolofo Quezada lost a young adult son and lamented his “dreams forever unfulfilled”. After a near breakdown, he came to believe that if he allowed himself to let go and experience all that comes of grief, then and only then, would he find the comfort of new life.

Keeping Quiet ~ by Pablo Neruda

Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.

For once on the face of the earth
let's not speak in any language,
let's stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.

It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines,
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.

Fishermen in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would look at his hurt hands.

Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victory with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.

What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about;
I want no truck with death.

If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.

Now I'll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.

Pablo Neruda (1904-1973), "Keeping Quiet"
Extravagaria (translated by Alastair Reid)
Jonathan Cape, London, 1972, pp.27-29

A Recovery Thought For Lent

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous talks about "the seven deadly sins" in it's text as being areas in which we can continue to take a daily personal inventory by identifying specific defects of character and then promptly correcting our course of action.  This helps us to avoid slipping back into old destructive behavior patterns.  The book says "To avoid falling into confusion over the names these defects should be called, let's take a universally recognized list of major human failings...the Seven Deadly Sins of pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth".  Sloth has always been my favorite...but I digress.

This is the beginning of a period of reflection and personal inventory for many Christians.  The forty days prior to Easter allow people to strive toward atonement and reconcilliation.  This celebration, called Lent, is a good time for us all to focus on getting better.  Rather than focus on the seven deadly sins, I would like to propose seven recovering redemptions: Humility, Generosity, Self Control, Kindness, Balance, Love and Enthusiasm.  They are the opposites of the sins and can be practiced as a means of healing.

The method for healing is simple.  Start with humility on day one.  Get a good definition in the dictonary.  It is the opposite of Pride.  Practice humility in all of your affairs all day long.  Journal about your experience at the end of the day.  On day two move on to Generosity.  The opposite of greed.  Keep going for the whole week (seven days...seven redemptions).  Repeat the process for all six weeks of Lent.  I promise you a happier Easter.

Slow Down You Move Too Fast

Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life" ~ Rachel Carson

We are fascinated by a little inch worm making his way along a twig, a frog sitting on a lily pad, the pattterns of frost on the window when we are children.  The beautiful details are everywhere and we lie on the front lawn and marvel at them.  Clouds have shapes that turn in to Mickey Mouse.  Birds all make different songs for us to imitate.  We go inside and our parents ask "What have you been doing?" and we can't even begin to tell them.  Don't they KNOW?

The problem is that the adults have mostly forgotten.  They are too busy with jobs and shopping...cooking and cleaning...being responsible for someting or another...to slow down and appreciate the mysteries and miracles around them.  They grew up and have taken the details for granted.  They think that there is not enough time.  A friend told me that she needs peace in her life.  Peace is all around us.  We only have to lie down on the front lawn to witness it's awe.

How can I slow down and savor life today?

Happy New Year ~ Starting New

There are times in our lives that lend themselves to starting something new. The beginning of a new year, finishing school, leaving a job, or changing homes—these all are times that turn our minds to fresh starts. Their advantage is that they bring with them the energy of that event, creating a tide of change around them that we can ride to our next shoreline. But we can choose to start anew anytime. In any moment we can decide that a bad day or a relationship that’s gotten off on the wrong foot can be started again. It is a mental shift that allows us to clean the slate and approach anything with fresh eyes, and we can make that choice at any time.

Starting new is most powerful when we focus our attention to what we are choosing to create. Giving all of our attention to the unwanted aspects of our lives allows what we resist to persist. We need to remember to leave enough room in the process of new beginnings to be kind to ourselves, because it takes time to become accustomed to anything new, no matter how much we like it. There is no need to get down on ourselves if we don't reach our new goals instantly. Instead, we acknowledge the forward motion and choose to reset and start again, knowing that with each choice we learn, grow, and move forward.

Making the choice to start anew has its own energy—it's a promise made to you. The forward momentum creates a sort of vacuum behind it, pulling toward you all you need to help you continue moving in your chosen direction. Once the journey has begun, it may take unexpected turns, but it never really ends. Like cycles in nature, there are periods of obvious growth and periods of dormancy that signal a time of waiting for the right moment to burst forth. Each time we choose to start anew we dedicate ourselves to becoming the best we are able to be.

Reflection 2007

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.  A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves" ~ Bill Vaughn

Ringing in a New Year is a tradition that is often filled with celebration.  Some of us host parties, are invited to the homes of friends, go out to lavis galas, drink too much champagne and set off fireworks.  It is a time to say goodbye and a time to look forward for possibilities.  Some others of us experience a time of feeling apart, a time of regrets and resentments, a time to llk at what might be coming next with dread.  How can this occasion present such pairs of opposites?

Perhaps we put a little too much emphasis on the endings and beginnings of this annual calendar change...and perhaps not.  It is a chance to look at who we are and who we are becoming.  It is an opportunity to make changes, offer amends and clean up our mistakes.  We can do a lot more than list our resolutions.  This is the perfect time to make a spiritual adjustment.  Let's really begin to slow down and live a day at a time.  Come to terms with the fact that the past is what it is and that the future is not a reality.  Get up in the morning with a clear plan to "do the right thing" in every situation that we face...and when we don't...make the adjustment, clear the are and move along.  This is how life becomes the celebration that God intends for us to enjoy.

My resolution this year is to truly live a day at a time!

Merry Christmas From Woodlands!

"I wear the chain I forged in life, replied the Ghost.  I made it link by link, and yard by yard;  I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.  Is its pattern strange to YOU Ebenezer Scrooge?" ~ Jacob Marley from Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol"

Christmas is upon us.  Except for last minute details most everything is set.  Decorations are hung.  Presents are purchased and wrapped.  People are beginning to travel and gather already.  What a season!  How blessed we are to have so much abundance even when we suffer hardshhip.  People are good this time of year aren't they?  We give more generously.  How can we carry this spirit into our everyday lives?

Christmas is an opportunity for redemption.  Jacob Marley delivers a sober message to Scrooge.  He asks his old friend and partner to look squarely at his life...to take a moral inventory as it were.  It is terrifying to look at the "ponderous" chain that each of us carries.  We are called by a power greater than ourselves to examine our wounds, explore our mistakes and wrongdoings and to assess the part that we have played in life so far.  We are asked to look into the future and run out the tape based upon our current course.  This is the only way that we can heal.  This is the means by which we can become useful to the world and to the people around us.  We will be transformed.

Dickens "A Christmas Carol" ends with words that we never hear on movie versions.  It says this; "His own heart laughed and that was good enough for him.  He lived upon The Total Abstinence Principle ever afterwards."  The story goes on with the familiar promise to each of us when we follow the call of redemption and recovery; "and it was always said of him that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possesssed the knowledge.  May that be truly said of us, and all of us!  And so as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!"